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Friday, April 20, 2007
Amnesia. (Revised for anonymous)

I've decided that I'm going to get Amnesia. Here's my plan:

I'm going to buy a one-way ticket to a random US city. Perhaps I'll throw a dart at a map, perhaps I'll dial a random phone number and area code go to that place. Upon arrival I will take my wallet and personal belongings, put them in a ziplock bag, and put them in a locker at the airport. I will then find a semi-busy highway or thoroughfare, and lie down in a ditch next to it and wait there until someone finds me. From there, I will start in with my Amnesia. I'll tell the person that I do not remember how I got here, why I'm here, or my name.

I'll tell them that I'm scared and cold, and a little hungry. When they escort me back to their car to take me home or to the hospital I will freak out and pretend that I've never seen a car before. I'll demand that they drive slowly next to me as I walk along the highway. I'll throw in some random crying, and break down a few times on the side of the road, just to make it seem more heartbreaking.

After a few weeks of these good samaritans taking care of me, I'll start pretending that I've begun to remember a few things. Like "I think I have a family somewhere. I see a house. And a dog. I hear running water." This will again throw them off, thinking I must live near some stream or something. As the years pass with these people taking care of me, I'll ask them if I can take their last name as my own, since I cannot remember anything in more detail.

And just as we're about to get to the court-house to change my name I'll say "Oh yeah I think I left my wallet at the airport, can we go pick it up?" The family will be confused and bewildered. We'll pull up to the curb at the airport, I'll go inside and get my belongings, and then come back outside. I'll tap on the window of my caretakers car to have them roll it down, and I'll say "Oh my God I totally got you guys!" Then I'll slap my drivers license on the windshield and say "I'M RICKY BORBA. REMEMBER THE NAME." I'll probably flip them off or something as I walk away.
posted by Ricky @ 8:44 AM  
  • At 4/20/2007 08:32:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    could you please take your big ass paragraphs and separate them to make them easier to read. thank you.

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