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| Thursday, September 25, 2008 |
Just like Metallica, this is sad but true. And humiliating. If you've ever wanted to make fun of me for something, read on.
I don't know what it is, but I have a love/hate relationship with pasta. I love it because it's quick to make and also rather tasty, but I hate it because it's not the greatest for you in terms of health, and because if I eat it relatively close to going to bed, I get stomach cramps in the early morning.
So last night Nicki got home around 9pm from her Bible study. She was hungry and so was I. She wanted to make some chicken, but we decided to make some chicken ravioli instead. After we ate, I studied for my Christian Foundations 1 test until about 12:30 am. Things were great.
That was, until 3am. At 3am I was woken up from severe stomach cramps. I don't know if you've ever been woken up out of a dead sleep with any kind of pain, but it sucks. So I wake up, naked, because that's how I sleep, and go to our 5 foot by 5 foot bathroom within our bathroom. I sit down, and just start waiting it out, like normal. It usually takes about 10 minutes for the cramps to go away once I hit the porcelain God. And for some reason when this happens (about once a month or so) I always think of Donavan McNabb. I think it's because I heard him do an interview once about getting stomach cramps before games. Anyway, I digress.
So I'm sitting there, in pain. It's getting worse. Worse than it's ever been. I'm thinking "Wow, I am NOT doing well right now, this is incredibly painful and worse than ever." Then it got to the point where I involuntarily started making these noises, like wailing. Then I remember my back getting extremely sweaty.
The next thing I remember is Nicki hovering over me, snapping her fingers, saying "What the heck are you doing on the floor? What is wrong with you?" My eyes weren't open yet, I just kept hearing her say that. So I start opening my eyes and I am in the 1 foot by 5 foot nook between the wall and the toilet. I had passed out from the pain. And since my face and teeth hurt like HELL today, I figure that I bashed the left side of my face on the bathroom wall on my down after passing out, then I must have bashed my mouth on the bathroom tile floor. I don't know how long I was out. But I do remember having this CRAZY dream while out, and being extremely confused and disorientated when I came to.
Poor Nicki. Imagine you're in her shoes. It's 3am, you get up to check on your husband who went to the bathroom and when you open the door you find him naked on the floor, out COLD. I'll be shocked if she ever has sex with me again. |
| posted by
Ricky
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9:16 AM
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| 4 Comments: |
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You might want to get that checked out by a doctor.
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k, but what everyone wants to know is.....who cleaned up the shat that was inevitably splattered all over the bathroom?
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That's exactly what I want to know...what was the horror scene like?
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This made me laugh quite a bit, lucky b
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You might want to get that checked out by a doctor.