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Sunday, July 30, 2006
Why I don't understand camping.
Written By Ricky Borba

I live in a house. It's not the biggest house in the world, but it's a very nice house. In my house I have; running water, two bathrooms, a shower, a big tv, my computer, the internet, a lot of video games, air conditioning, a nice comfortable bed, a refrigerator, a backyard, a front yard, carpet, windows, a nice stereo, all my stuff is unpacked and in it's own place, and a lot of other nice things that I can't even think of right now.

Why would I want to go camping? Why for that matter, would anyone want to go camping? When you go camping, you do not get; running water, bathrooms (outhouses and public bathrooms do not count as bathrooms, so stop), showers, tv, computer, the internet, video games, air conditioning, a nice comfortable bed, a refrigerator, a backyard, a front yard, carpet, windows, and a nice stereo.

Here's what you get instead of those things when you go camping; A stupid tent that either gets way too cold inside because it's cold outside, or it gets way too hot inside because it's hot outside, a sleeping bag that again has no air filtration system, a kink in your back from sleeping on dirt because the only thing separating you from the dirt is a centimeter thick piece of nylon that is your tent, smelly clothes, awakening at the butt crack of dawn because everyone who camps has a secret unspoken contest with each other to see who can get up the earliest and start cooking bacon, long boring stupid walks on dirt roads just to get to an outhouse, dirt everywhere, someone inevitably whipping out their guitar and singing acoustic love songs around a campfire all night, guys who think it's cool to go days on end without showering, having to pack and unpack the stuff you bring from your house, and plenty of other atrocities that I can't even think of.

So in conclusion, I will not be going camping. Ever. Not with my family, not with friends, not if someone would give me a million dollars to do so. Camping is dumb. There is absolutely no reason for it whatsoever. None. The fact that camping even exists is a question I am going to ask God when I get to heaven. I'm pretty sure he laughs everytime some family decides to pack up the bags and head for a weekend of the great outdoors. Buying a cabin somewhere and having it furnished with it's own set of household items is the only way I would ever even consider leaving my house to go "camping".
posted by Ricky @ 9:22 PM   15 comments
Saturday, July 29, 2006
I live in the state of Kaylafornia.
posted by Ricky @ 12:00 AM   1 comments
Friday, July 28, 2006

posted by Ricky @ 6:20 PM   4 comments
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Based on the fact you are looking at my website...

I know that you have it better than a lot of people out there. Do you ever stop to think how lucky we are? That we're not one of this kids or families in some 3rd world country that is scouring the streets looking for their next meal in order to survive. Seriously. When was the last time you stopped and thought about how lucky you are?

I'm sitting at work right now, having a good time, listening to my internet radio station, and about to go to lunch somewhere. That in and of itself is something a lot of other people can't even fathom.

I just felt really grateful last night about being in America, healthy, and with all of the pleasures life has to offer.
posted by Ricky @ 10:08 AM   8 comments
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Re: Chocolate Milk and Orange Juice

I always accomplish the "enjoy" portion of the equation when I drink. But I'll be damned if 9 times out of 10 I completely forget the "Shake Well" part. They should print something on the straw wrapper. Something to the effect of "Before you stick me in your tasty beverage, did you shake well, guy?"

MAN I HATE THAT! I always feel like it would have tasted better if I would have followed the instructions.

Me: "Hey Bob this chocolate milk is really good man!"

Bob: "That's because I shook it before I started drinking it. But why the hell are you drinking out of my glass?"

Me: Did you catch the Bears game last night?

Bob: .....
posted by Ricky @ 7:54 PM   8 comments
Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Sorry about the lack of updates lately....

My days consist of going to work, then coming home and trying to spend as much time with Kayla as humanly possible. My weekends fly by too because I try to cram in as much time with Kayla as I can. I can't get enough of her. She's turning into a little human. She stretches like me when she gets up. She sleeps like me by putting something over her little face while shes sleeping. And I swear she talks. Last night I was holding her and she spit her pacifier out (which is usually almost always followed by crying) but instead of crying she started making these little sounds. It was amazing. I felt like she was trying to tell me things. I just kept asking her questions like "what did you do today" and "do you love daddy"? The greatest thing though is when she smiles. She smiles so big and with so much happiness that her little tongue always comes out of her mouth. It's like her tiny face can't contain all of the glee she has inside of her. Man I love her. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her. Oh, and I gave her some ice cream last night. She loves it.

In other news, I've recently took a big liking to Indian food. Specifically, Chicken Makhani. Now if you know me, you know I'm a picky eater. And I was extremely hesitant to even try it in the first place. But holy crap. That stuff is indescribable. So, I'm not going to try to. Just try it.

One other thing. I need someone to explain this to me please. Daytime running lights for your car. What is the purpose? I seriously do not understand the concept. Maybe maybe on a rainy day, but not during bright sunny days like California typically experiences. It's not like an oncoming car will be getting closer and you won't be able to make it out if they don't have their lights on. "I see this metallic object getting closer to me, its travelling fast, looks like a car, but I can't be certain because the headlights aren't on." (That was a poor attempt at humor, by the way) And yesterday someone had the audacity to flick their lights at me as they were driving towards me on Vasco Road as if to say "HEY TURN YOUR LIGHTS ON GUY!" It was 12:30 p.m.! Give it a break! Daytime running lights are dumb.
posted by Ricky @ 9:45 AM   10 comments
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
Yes I'm perfectly aware that people do not come to my website anymore to read my hilarious yet thought provoking posts. I know you come here to see Kayla. So, enjoy.

posted by Ricky @ 8:29 PM   5 comments
It doesn't get much better than this.

posted by Ricky @ 8:11 PM   0 comments
Monday, July 10, 2006
Very very bottom of the page, IMPOSTOR!

posted by Ricky @ 10:45 PM   2 comments
Saturday, July 08, 2006
In case you haven't seen me in a while, here's what I'm looking like nowadays. I'm doing the "fatherly" grow in the beard type deal.

posted by Ricky @ 6:43 PM   8 comments

first of all. you know i hate bad smells, and especially smelling like food. so this morning nicki and her sister decided they wanted to make artichokes. (strike one. they are disgusting. and strike two is the fact that anything you eat with globs of mayonnaise automatically qualifies that food as ungodly) the smell when you boil artichokes is also disgusting. its almost like chocolate chip cookies. almost. its a cross between chocolate chip cookies, and old water used to wash feet. i cant begin to explain how sick the smell makes me. so i decide in my wisdom, to leave the house for a tick, and go get a sandwich while i study my lines for the play im doing at church. i leave for just about an hour. and when i pull into the driveway, i see something. its on the lawn. its the pot they were cooking the artichokes in. i knew what had happened before i even got out of my car. they burned the pot, while simultaneously burning the artichokes. i walk in the house, and almost faint. STRIKE THREE. the smell of burnt artichoke and burnt pot is overwhelming me. i feel like im on lsd. i cant see straight. the flys buzzing around are speaking to me. and what makes it all worse is, nicki and her sister in their infinite wisdom decided to just toss the burnt artichokes in the trash that is in the kitchen. no, they didnt even take it outside. my house smells so bad right now. i cant even stand to be in it. i just took a shower, but i feel like i need another one. today is not a good day.

posted by Ricky @ 1:54 PM   4 comments
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